did everything between us changed overnight?
Tuesday, May 26, 2009, 7:11 AM
i really doubt.suddenly felt as though everything was caused by me
i really am in a terrible state.
i am totally nothing like a normal human,i look like a zombie.somehow.
living in my own world,sleep away all my troubles.
having nothing in my head.pushing everything aside
thats wad i think i was thinking.but,i really hae no idea why had this thing become this way,how did it end up like that.?
me?you?
well,it couldnt be US anymore..
i think its me.
i have cause everything to turn out tis way,although i dun like it.but still...
life have to go on.
somehow i feel that i am just decieving myself all the way,comforting myself with some wadever shit words..
i feel useless.somehow.this week..
its gonna be a suffering week..
i am on the verge of breaking down and going to mental hospital.
try agitating me?see how i react.
i have no energy to argue with anyone.
i don't even have the energy to act.
people says:"drinking cures all sorrows.."
to me..its sleeping cures the sorrows..seriously..somehow..
i feel like i should just fall into a deep sleep and never to wake up..
haiz..
wish that..
my table will turn into something even more comfortable.like a bed!
hahas
alrights.
i feel rather...stupid.angry with myself..
why must i do things til i get it back miserable.
really,life is just miserable.
met yingxuan and olivia after school, at the school gate.
told them somethings,not a lot..
but sufficient enough for them to make deductions about us.
but,yingxuan said something that i somehow doubt it.
i want to believe it but..its not going into me,as a fact or somehing i could actually accept..
she said,"boys are like that,act happy but they are sad inside.."
i really wonder,izzit true.
and somehow..i still believe my own eyes..
are they really like that.
if u are really happy,without me..i am glad to leave u,happy there.
i know that we both have our own life to lead.
so..
right now,i only have something in my mind,which is to..
let go..
letting go is easy said than done..
i already try lots of methods..
like avioding.
but these fucking memories just flash by.
i really dun wan to think..
really just dun wan to...
i want to remember u by the person i once loved,and not the person i am growing too hate.got this from marcus blog.
i've tried.